


Elusive

by Miri Cleo (miri_cleo)



Category: Fringe
Genre: Gen, introspective, yuletide2010
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-19
Updated: 2010-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-13 19:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/140667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miri_cleo/pseuds/Miri%20Cleo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Olivia finds herself in a moment alone with Nina.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Elusive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [arbitraryspace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arbitraryspace/gifts).



> Anything with Olivia and Nina intrigues the hell out of me, so I hope you enjoy!

The glass shown so that Olivia could see her reflection against it, a semi-transparent ghost against the outside world. She stared into her own eyes as if desperately seeking some sort of recognition, something she had not looked for before and now hunted constantly. She squinted, she widened them; she saw flecks of color that she tried to count and separate.

She found only herself staring back. She knew that face, knew those eyes. But she did not know the doubt that crept into her features, that settled into the lines on her face that she hadn't noticed before. She didn't know that look in her eyes. The harder she stared, the harder it became, the more elusive the assurances she was seeking.

Things were supposed to be better here. Nothing, she had realized long before, was normal. There were things about the other side that were normal to them that would be, that were horrors in this world. She thought of the bodies trapped in Amber and shivered thinking of her own capture.

She was so lost in her own mind—something that weighed on her now that she was back, a hinderance and no longer a defense, a way to keep herself from losing herself completely—that she did not hear the footsteps behind her. The way Nina's reflection seemed to materialize beside hers in the shining glass made Olivia gasp. She had almost forgotten where she was.

“I'm sorry, Agent Dunham, I didn't mean to startle you.” There had always been something false about Nina's smile. At least, that what Olivia thought it was at first, when she didn't trust her, when she had no idea the things behind the monsters they chased. Now, she wasn't as sure. She wasn't as sure, and that was footing Olivia didn't like. There was a sharpness to it, and it hid other things. Nina was dressed pristinely, nothing was ever out of place. Olivia knew defenses more personally now.

“It's fine,” she said quickly as she turned away from the window, shaking her head. Her own smile was not genuine, and she didn't try to hide that. “I'm waiting for my security badges for the building and Walter's lab to be reissued.”

“I know.” Nina's nod was curt, and she handed the badges to Olivia without any flourish. “I had them send you up here. No need to make you wait downstairs.”

“Thanks.” Olivia ran her fingers over the badges, her thumb over her own unsmiling face. She wondered if they were so ready to trust her counterpart, to welcome her back. She had probably already been debriefed. Perhaps she too was working again. Would the others even realize? “Well...” Another fake smile. “I should get up to Walter's lab then.”

“Olivia...” Nina laid her gloved hand on Olivia's arm. The contact was brief, but it carried some force behind it. She knew Nina had used the instrument that William Bell had created for her, and she wondered why. She told herself that's why she stopped. Talks with Nina made her uncomfortable, even if she wasn't sure now that she had anything Nina could want. They were all somehow allies now it seemed.

“Yes?” As she asked, Olivia cocked her head. She was already preparing herself to rebuff whatever Nina has to offer, as she had in the past. The response was automatic, physical. She did not take into account any of the things she had learned since the last time they spoke like that.

“How are you adjusting?” If it was a kindness, Nina's voice did not betray it. But her eyes looked tired, more so than when Olivia had last seen her. Had she failed to notice before, or had so much changed in such a little while?

She shook her head, the fake smile betraying some of her confusion. “I'm fine. It's fine.” And that was the answer she had been giving since she was debriefed. The rest was too difficult to put into words, to reform for each new person who asked. It wasn't so simple to just...tell the story when they had been living with another version of her.

“It's not an easy thing to cross between worlds. Even when coming back after a short time, your team had an adjustment period.”

Yes, and Olivia had told herself that's how they might have missed it. Walter had his grief and Peter had his own demons. Olivia was not sure what she would have had, if it would have been like what she was feeling now—anger, confusion. But looking at Nina now, she wondered if the woman wasn't searching for something. Her tone had been flat but not uninterested, and even though her eyes remained fixed on Olivia's face, they seemed to see past her.

“I'm...sorry about Doctor Bell,” she said after a pause that was too long. “He was...” Olivia drew in a breath, uncertain, fumbling for words she didn't have. He saved them apparently. Part of her hated him.

“He was unable to readjust.” The reply fell in the silence, and Olivia realized then that no one had anticipated the weight of the grief that Nina was still feeling. Olivia felt for a brief moment that she had been selfish in feeling so solitary since her return.

“I'm sorry,” she repeated, the words quiet, limp. She was tired, and so was Nina.

“Your team will be wanting you, I believe.” If there had been a flicker of something, Nina had collected herself now. That smile had returned, and Olivia felt as if she had been momentarily tugged closer to something only to be pushed away.

And Olivia merely nodded. She crossed the room, leaving Nina to the window, and when she reached the door, she paused, turning back. She couldn't see Nina's reflection from there, but she wondered if that's what kept the woman there, almost in the same spot where she had been. She wondered if they all carried the weight of something terrible so personally now.


End file.
